I
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How My Sister Treated Me When I Was Mentally Ill
HREF="http://www.brownmagazine.org/storydetail.cfm?ID=991">THEY GIVE MY SISTER Chipper Chip GLoria Roth
"You're nothing but a bag lady
from Telegraph Avenue"
-- GLORIA "CHIPPER" ROTH
to her bipolar sister Leigh Roth.
This type of psychologically traumatic
discrimination and stigmatization against the mentally ill is
seldom seen in the United States today,
but this VASSAR coed, University of
California Berkeley graduate in political science,
UC Berkeley
Masters in Public Health, Iyengar Yoga Teacher and Acupuncturist
felt no compunction about vicitimizing the victim -- her younger sister.
Leigh Roth who has bipolar disesae,
a mood disorder, manages a variety of businesses and helps large numbers of indigent people
Gloria Roth has a sociopathic personality
disorder
Gloria Roth's claim to fame is hiring a computer person to build
for an outrageous sum of money a vanity website in which she publishes
in the first paragraph, in akward and purple prose, the size of
her lover's penis.
Even Anais Nin knew when to fold em, my dear!
At least you're still
working that body out -- at least in the sack sis! Cause the last
time I saw you the
only thing you were doing was sucking the cocks
of shrinks to get scrips for speed....and smoking crack with your
manicurist.
No Nobel Prize for you, kid, and as far as becoming
the first female president, you probably could have done if you
had put your mind to
it because you are the most manipulative
person I ever met, but too bad, you fell by the wayside
first
contact with politics by getting strung out instead of paying
attention and following through. I
t could have you who is now
the Ambassador
of OBSCURISTAN like Pancho
Huddle
Your whole life has been dedicated
to pleasuring yourself ... why does this bother me?
I
ALWAYS said you were smarter than me.
IF I'M SO SMART,
WHY CAN'T I GET YOU TO LISTEN?
There was a
time when you could hear anything I said...
You've
written great books and do art and get involved in a pro-active
way that is admirable.
THANKS FOR
ADMIRING THE THINGS ABOUT ME YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE FOR YOURSELF.
THAT'S NOT
ADMIRATION, THAT'S ENVY!
YOU'RE THE
ONE WHOSE HAD THE GREAT LIFE!
But with me
you were always acted like THE GESTAPO
REAL ADMIRATION
WOULD BE RESPECTING ME FOR HAVING SURVIVED A LIFETIME OF MENTAL
ILLNESS AND ADDICTION.
Nine months
in treatment. You never came to visit
Recovering
from the world's hardest drug to detox from, benzos, without ANY
medical help at all. Recovering from dual diagnosis depression
without ANY medical help at all.
At least Dad
gave me a place to stay.
Where were
you?
And then I
get back on my feet and meet a great guy and you
try to destroy my relationship
with the first guy I love after my divorce.
Dear Chip,
I am becoming increasingly alarmed by your continuing efforts
to scapegoat me and make me look bad to my family and others.
The following data:
1. At Mother's Christmas party, where you refused to interact
with me, even sitting at another table, you took the one opportunity
when I was out of the room to approach Bob Street, a man you have
never been introduced to, and tell him, "I hear Leigh is
taking a survey among her friends to see if she should get pregnant
without your permission. But don't worry, you'll get used to being
a father."
WHY DID YOU NEED
TO DESTROY MY HAPPINESS? JUST LIKE WHEN YOU SLEPT WITH HUSBAND
I was once your
amusing sister, but when I wasn't amusing anymore, you ditched
me.
WHY DON'T YOU
ADMIRE AND RESPECT ME FOR THIS: I TRY TO JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE AND
FIVE MONTHS LATER JUMP BACK IN THE SADDLE?
I DIDN'T HAVE
A CHOICE!!!
BECAUSE I DIDN'T
HAVE A FAMILY SUPPORT SYSTEM
EXCEPT THOSE
GOOD HEARTED PEOPLE IN Z WHO MAINTAINED MY PROPERTIES WITHOUT
SO MUCH AS A PHONE CALL FOR MONEY FOR 9 MONTHS?
THAT'S
LOVE and LOYALTY
Where were
you?
Staying thin
somewhere on SPEED
speed is effective for appetite control and extra energy!
When Paul Harrison
broke down and started hallucinating, I took care of him from
November 2000 (I was still in drug treatment) until July, when
he went home to his parents cause I didn't have the money to support
him anymore. At that point he owed me over 8k! All that time he never received his disability (full
pay) because of a technicality: Dr. Gold refused to turn in paperwork.
It's too late to sue Gold, but I forced Paul to seek representation
and now we have a fine lawyer going to get Paul the 19 months
of salary at 200K a year that he is owed. And since I was loyal and never asked about the money I now
have a NASA trained systems engineeer starting my new business FOR FREE
His parents
took him in for a full year. It took till May to get him stabilized
on the proper medication.
DON'T I WISH
I'D HAD SOMEONE LIKE THAT STILL AROUND....
INSTEAD I WHEN
I EMAILED YOU THAT I HAD TRIED TO JUMP OFF THE BRDIGE AND HAD
BEEN HOSPITALIZED FOR WEEKS YOU ANSWERED:
"TOUGH
LUCK, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER"
(commonly known
as blaming the victim)
NOBODY IN THEIR
RIGHT MIND WOULD TREAT THEIR MENTALLY ILL SISTER WHO ALMOST DIED
LIKE THAT. EXCEPT SOMEONE WHO PREFERS YOU DEAD.
AND LATER ALL
OUR IN COMMON FRIENDS DON'T CARE TO ASSOCIATE WITH ME AS I HAVE
BECOME, CURIOUSLY, "UNTRUSTWORTHY"
Whenever
i tried to do things like that, I felt so hopeless and incompetent
and bogged down by the sadness and stupidity of the world, that
I couldn't maintain a cheerful attitude or sustain the energy.
THIS IS A DESCRIPTION
OF DEPRESSION. DEPRESSED PEOPLE HAVE A NEGATIVE OUTLOOK ON LIFE,
FEEL HOPELESS AND INCOMPETENT, AND HAVE NO ENERGY. YOU KNEW YOUR
GRANDMOTHER, YOUR MOTHER, AND YOUR SISTER HAVE A HISTORY OF DEPRESSION.
DID YOU EVER
GET ADEQUATELY TREATED FOR DEPRESSION?
NO
DO PEOPLE SUFFERING
FROM DEPRESSION EVER RECEIVE AN RX FOR SPEED?
NO
What
happened to me?
I KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENED TO YOU, I'M WORRIED ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOUR MIND,
LIKE RIGHT THIS MINUTE, YOU DIVERT FROM THE TOPIC AT HAND. AS
WE SEE BELOW
Let's
see, my husband left seizing our successful business,
MARTIN ZABALETA WAS A GOOD AND HONEST MAN WHO
DIDN'T CARE ABOUT MONEY
I NEVER
COULD GET CLOSE MARTIN
ZABALETA YOU MADE SURE HE DIDN'T LIKE ME
WHAT DID YOU
DO TO MARTIN
ZABALETA THAT MADE HIM CALL YOU A VAMPIRE AND GO FOR THE MONEY?
ANSWER THIS
QUESTION: WOULD YOU REMARRY MARTIN
ZABALETA TODAY? STILL INTERESTED? OR IS IT JUST LOSS AND LOSS
OF FACE?
THAT'S
NO EXCUSE FOR TAKING SPEED
I
tried to re-create something similar, but with little result.
ARE YOU
BITCHING AND MOANING BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD A MILLION INTERESTING
LOVERS IN YOUR LIFE?
That was
something we had in common...
AND YOU
HAVE ONE NOW...YOU SAY YOU'RE HAPPY LIVING ALONE. WHAT IS YOUR
COMPLAINT SPECIFICALLY?
HOW IS ALL
THIS RELEVANT TO WHY YOUR BRAIN ISN'T WORKING?
ARE
YOU ON SPEED AGAIN?
DISTRACTED? SEGUING FROM TOPIC TO TOPIC
LIKE
THAT MANUSCRIPT OF YOUR I READ THAT MADE SO WORRIED. IT WAS JUST
LIKE MARYANNFAITHFUL'S ACCOUNT OF DATING BOB DYLANWHEN HE
WAS WRITING ON SPEED
and
by Eugene who called the landlord and started an eviction suit.
BUT
HOW ABOUT BURNING DOWN A LANDMARK JULIA MORGAN HOUSE ON SPEED?
I
got involved with an criminal
YOU'RE A CRIMINAL
TOO, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
YOU STEAL AND
YOU HAVE A RAP SHEET
YOU'RE SO IMPAIRED
YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD AND THE FACT I
COULDN'T COME INTO CANADA BECAUSE OF IT --
CARE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR A 2000 MILE DRIVE AND INABILTY TO BE WITH ANDREW??
YOU CANNOT
BE IN YOUR RIGHT MIND!
I
got shafted by Hart in Ethiopia,
THE BRAINY
BEAUTY OF BERKELEY WAS SHAFTED A MILLION TIMES,
WHAT'S THE
BIG DEAL?
SURELY
YOU CAN'T USE THE SPILLS FROM THE THRILLS AS AN EXCUSE
FOR
TAKING SPEED
I
am a masochist
WHAT THERAPIST
IS SAYING YOU ARE A MASOCHIST?
YOU MUST BE
QUITE A CLINICAL CHALLENGE
WHEN EVERYONE
WHO 'IS ON MY SIDE' THINKS YOU'RE A SADIST!!!
I've
been greedy my whole life, a result of inner emptiness and fear
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE
THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THIS AND YET YOU'VE NEVER GOTTEN GOOD
HELP FOR YOUR CONDITION?
IT'S
BECAUSE YOU DON'T SEE DECENT THERAPISTS!!! You say you're seeing
some world authority on speed for ADD...world authorities are
most often assholes and pushing their product. Read Against Therapy
for some good examples. And,
IF
HE'S SO REPUTABLE WHY IS HE HAVING AN ILLICIT RELATIONSHIP WITH
YOU? I'M SEEING ONE OF THE BEST RATED (BY OTHER MD'S) IN THE COUNTRY....
and
being ashamed of the millions of loose ends and half-started projects.
I've been tired and distracted my whole life, unable to concentrate
or keep focused so after being diagnosed by 2 docs with ADDD that
I have ADD, I sought treatment.
I WANT THE
NAMES OF THESE MD.S I WANT A COPY OF YOUR RECORDS. I WANT TO SEE
THE TESTING.
Because if
you've been successfully treated for add how could you write:
so
after being diagnosed by 2 docs with ADDD that I have ADD,
SOME
FUCKING MD who is a world expert in his thing, haven't we learned
distinguished people are often assholes? He's pushing his product,
instead of getting you proper help. I'm seeing one of the United
States most highly rated psychiatrists, (rated by other MD's)
She's licensed to practice (and has) in Canada. She BEGGED me
to turn this guy in. How can some one so "reputable"
break the cardinal
rule in therapeutic relationships!!!!
TIRED
AND UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE,
ARE CARDINAL
SIGNS OF DEPRESSION
I WANT TO KNOW
IF ALTERNATIVE DIAGNOSES WERE CONSIDERED
LIKE DYSTHYMIA,
BIPOLAR!!!!
BECAUSE IT
SOUNDS SO MUCH LIKE A MOOD DISORDER,
WHY WOULD SOMEONE
START YOU ON SPEED
WHEN THEY SHOULD
RULE OUT DEPRESSION FIRST????
Since
there's no research on women and shifting hormone cycles, sometimes
the meds made me wired, and sometimes people with me feed-back
that I seemed much more calm and centered.
OH, SO IT'S
HORMONES + DEXEDRINE THAT MAKES YOU ACT THAT WAY ? MAYBE YOU WERE
ENJOYING YOUR MOOD STATES, BUT
YOUR THINKING
WAS/IS SERIOUSLY IMPAIRED
YOU HAD NO
IMPULSE CONTROL
YOU WERE IRRITABLE
YOU WERE HOSTILE
AND ABUSIVE
I
too am bipolar
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE,
BECAUSE MD'S DON'T GIVE BIPOLAR PEOPLE
SPEED,
it
would greatly enhance mood swings
I
was labelled "an agitated depressive."
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE,
BECAUSE MD'S DON'T GIVE "an agitated depressive."
SPEED
UNLESS
THEY ARE COMMITTING PROFESSIONAL SUICIDE AT THE SAME TIME THEIR
PATIENTS ARE DOING THE REAL THING!!
YOU
MAY HAVE ADD -- ALTHOUGH YOU WERE A TOP STUDENT...ALWAYS ORGANIZED...
MAYBE YOU GOT ENERGY AND ATTENTION SPAN NOW,
BUT
YOU'VE LOST YOUR COGNITIVE ABILITIES.
OR
ELSE YOU ADD HASN'T BEEN TREATED AT ALL!!!
CAUSE YOU ARE NOT PAYING ATTENTION (ALTERNATIVE DIAGNOSIS: YOU'RE
NOT INTERESTED IN ANYTHING BUT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF)
I'M
GOING TO SAY IT ONLY ONE MORE TIME. NOBODY is in a better position
to "SEE" you than me. And you are IN TROUBLE!!!!
AND
HERE'S ANOTHER QUESTION. HOW COME YOU'RE ALWAYS FEELING SORRY
FOR YOURSELF? ME AND JENNIFER NEVER DO. YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE
IT COMING, E.G.EXACTLY 99.99999% OF THE WORLD'S POPULATION WOULD
TRADE THEIR LIFE IN FOR YOURS
SO
WHY DON'T YOU GET THAT TREATED?
WANT
TO CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION? JUST ANSWER THOSE DAMN EMAILS LINE
BY LINE, THEN WRITE UP YOUR CASE HISTORY AND EMAIL IT TO DAVID
SMITH. LET THE ULTIMATE AUTHORITY HEAR YOUR STORY AND WHAT'S BEEN
TRIED ON YOU AND FAILED.
CHECK
YOURSELF INTO BETTY FORD. YOU'LL MEET A RICH GREAT GUY WHILE YOU'RE
THERE. THEY HAVE THE BEST COMPANY WHILE YOU'RE DETOXING, AND THEY'LL
PUT YOU ON
THE
RIGHT DRUGS
Try
TREATMENT! It's the best of the sixties and 2002!
